Meaningful Glances

Congratulations, Mom and Dad! Forty years ago today you made promises to each other that I'm ever so grateful you kept! Brigetta and I have just been watching episodes of a mini-series on the Discovery channel called "When We Left Earth." It chronicles the NASA missions, including the Apollo launches which, of course, led to mankind's first steps on the moon. Here's a wild thought: you guys were still newlyweds when that happened! I'd ordinarily steer clear of this sort of thing - you know, couching your marriage in historical terms, making you feel old, etc. - but I couldn't help myself on that one. Besides, you've faced, whether you're comfortable with it or not, a lot of history together. No need to recount man-on-the-moon moments. There's Wikipedia for that.

No, I'd rather share a couple of my impressions from what I can recall of your 40 years together, keeping in mind that I didn't exist for the first quarter or so of that time. Perhaps the simplest, most powerful image I have is really a series of images. They are of the welcome home hugs and kisses you were never shy about giving to each other in front of us. It didn't need to be "welcome home from a long hunting trip." It could just as easily have been "welcome home from going to the store," or "welcome home from work." That Dad and Mom loved each other was abundantly clear. The impact this has had on me is inestimable as Brigetta and I enter our 7th year of marriage. It's a priority woven in to the fabric of my being. My child must see and know that I love her mother. At the danger of becoming cliche, love is the foundation on which we hope to build our family's character. We love God, each other, and those around us. You could have told me those things until you were blue in the face, but I do not believe it would have made the difference it has if I hadn't been able to see it in action.

The second thing that comes to mind is a memory I know I've shared with other people in my life, but I'm wondering as I write this if I've ever shared my version of it with you, Dad. I don't remember much in the way of specifics, but it remains to this day my most vivid memory of you being angry at me. I'm sure there were too many moments like this to count - especially in my teenage years - but on this occasion you chose to show it, and strangely enough, I'm glad that you did. All I remember is that I had said something extremely sarcastic and disrespectful to Mom - I think I might have even yelled it at her. You weren't home at the time. Some time after you did get home, you confronted me in the hallway, right outside my room at the time. The look on your face was as close to murder as I've ever seen it. You held me against the wall there and verbally let me have it for disrespecting Mom. You'd think I'd be able to tell you exactly what you said, but I can't. The impression was enough. You were willing to put up with a little sass yourself, but treating my mother like that was. Not. Happening. It was...well, impressive. I was impressed. I still am. In that moment you modeled for me how to passionately defend my family (even from within). It had nothing to do with chest-beating, macho threats, or violence, and everything to do with not being afraid to tell someone when the line had been crossed. Similarly, Mom, I've heard you tell stories of how ticked off you were when people said something unfair about your husband, especially early in his ministry at MCC. Both of you have had the other's back all this time, which is another incalculable gift and legacy that I am compelled to pass on to my child (or children some day, but don't read that as an announcement).

So thank you! Thank you for leading by example - for backing up your words with actions. Thank you for loving each other, and for teaching us how to love our families. Congratulations on your first 40 years of marriage! May there be many, many more full of love and laughter!

Love,

Andrew